This reminds me of a great book by Cheri Huber with virtually the same title: "How You Do Anything Is How You Do Everything" (you might enjoy this, if you haven't read it yet.)
You are bringing some great examples and thoughts into the conversation, Mo! Bernard was definitely spot on with his observation on shoes...
An additional facet of the same topic is that this HYDAIHYDE-rule ~ we might call it the 'Natural Law of Holopoiesis' ~ also enables us to assess any person we meet within the first few seconds... in theory.
In practice it's not always that straight forward (for many reasons).
From personal experience I can say it has saved us from some serious trouble on a number of occasions.
Thanks, Veronica! The 'Natural Law of Holopoiesis' sounds interesting. I like it because I tend to pass judgment too quickly on my first impressions of people and have felt somewhat guilty about it. Not that I often change my opinion afterwards.
Well, yes! Isn't that funny? We do this so naturally (assessing another person on first impressions, which we then call 'judging' and berate ourselves for it + feel guilty for being 'judgmental')
What if this is a natural law or principle?
What if this information is in fact an accurate assessment?
Not because 'those people' are 'bad' or 'lesser', but because there is something in the particular constellation between ourselves and them which informs us (in a flash) about a potential conflict, or opportunity (as the case may be).
Well articulated, Mo. My jaw dropped when I saw the headline of this piece. Maybe this quote is in the water right now, but I have been thinking about it so much. Mostly, I've been wondering, "Is this true?"
I remain skeptical, but landing more on the side of prolly.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Damon! This quote helps us think about how we act and if it matches our values. Even if you don’t fully agree, it’s a good way to reflect on our actions.
How we do the "small things" at work shows how we do "big things" too. If we're on time, neat, and careful with little tasks, we usually do well with important work too.
I have heard the shoe story from an English man as well many years ago. Thanks for sharing Mo.
I'm glad you could relate to the shoe story as well. It’s amazing how these seemingly simple lessons stick with us over the years and continue to shape our habits and attitudes. Thanks for sharing your perspective, Tinashe!
This is a very good and true point, Mo. One of my very best Substack relationships is with a writer who I first met through her comment on one of my posts. In her comment, she wrote with a lovely, sensitive, caring style. It immediately made me curious about her, and so I checked out her blog and found more of the same.
I decided that day that no matter where I was writing on Substack, I would be sure that my writing represented me accurately-grammatically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally. It’s not only worth the effort in Substack returns, it’s an attitude and approach that makes me feel good about myself, that makes me feel that I’m living true to myself.
Thank you for your kind words and for sharing your experience! I completely agree that writing with authenticity not only enriches our relationships but also nurtures our own sense of fulfillment and integrity.
Love this! And I have used this very wisdom in many of my counseling sessions with clients. What I first heard was worded in a slightly different way.. The way we do anything is the way we do everything. I was just searching for who originally said it and I found Many mixed reports: Tom Waits, The Dalai Lama, Martha Beck,and there is even a book by this exact title by Susan Evan’s.. Yeee Gaads. In the end, it matters not who said it. It’s simply true.
I’ve offered this wisdom to clients as they are evaluating potential dates (look at a fella’s car before you get serious) jobs ( pay attention to the interviewer.. are they on time? (If this person is representing the company, look at how they are groomed) and pretty much anyone they interact with. Observe bank managers, car salesmen, investment firms etc.
this wonderful quote goes hand in hand with one by Maya Angelou
Maya Angelou - "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."
We're actually highly consistent as human beings. People who say "this is not how he treats me" just don't know who they're dealing with, those who say "this is not who I am" are in denial.
How we do anything is how we do everything. It is exhausting to have to learn the "how" of doing something every time, so we learn it once then keep repeating it.
Those who disagree just don't like their current "how", and it bothers them to know this is actually how they do everything.
This reminds me of a great book by Cheri Huber with virtually the same title: "How You Do Anything Is How You Do Everything" (you might enjoy this, if you haven't read it yet.)
You are bringing some great examples and thoughts into the conversation, Mo! Bernard was definitely spot on with his observation on shoes...
An additional facet of the same topic is that this HYDAIHYDE-rule ~ we might call it the 'Natural Law of Holopoiesis' ~ also enables us to assess any person we meet within the first few seconds... in theory.
In practice it's not always that straight forward (for many reasons).
From personal experience I can say it has saved us from some serious trouble on a number of occasions.
Thanks, Veronica! The 'Natural Law of Holopoiesis' sounds interesting. I like it because I tend to pass judgment too quickly on my first impressions of people and have felt somewhat guilty about it. Not that I often change my opinion afterwards.
Well, yes! Isn't that funny? We do this so naturally (assessing another person on first impressions, which we then call 'judging' and berate ourselves for it + feel guilty for being 'judgmental')
What if this is a natural law or principle?
What if this information is in fact an accurate assessment?
Not because 'those people' are 'bad' or 'lesser', but because there is something in the particular constellation between ourselves and them which informs us (in a flash) about a potential conflict, or opportunity (as the case may be).
Well articulated, Mo. My jaw dropped when I saw the headline of this piece. Maybe this quote is in the water right now, but I have been thinking about it so much. Mostly, I've been wondering, "Is this true?"
I remain skeptical, but landing more on the side of prolly.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Damon! This quote helps us think about how we act and if it matches our values. Even if you don’t fully agree, it’s a good way to reflect on our actions.
Also well stated.
A relatable and practical essay.
How we do the "small things" at work shows how we do "big things" too. If we're on time, neat, and careful with little tasks, we usually do well with important work too.
I have heard the shoe story from an English man as well many years ago. Thanks for sharing Mo.
I'm glad you could relate to the shoe story as well. It’s amazing how these seemingly simple lessons stick with us over the years and continue to shape our habits and attitudes. Thanks for sharing your perspective, Tinashe!
I love this one! I especially like the point implied by Wooden's quote: we can learn new ways of doing anything, and thus doing everything.
As my self-talk gets less negative and more rhapsodic, my way of thinking and communicating becomes more expansive and loving.
It's a great reminder. Live well today because it's always today.
I appreciate your comment, Malcolm! It's true—the way we talk to ourselves truly shapes our interactions with the world and others.
This is a very good and true point, Mo. One of my very best Substack relationships is with a writer who I first met through her comment on one of my posts. In her comment, she wrote with a lovely, sensitive, caring style. It immediately made me curious about her, and so I checked out her blog and found more of the same.
I decided that day that no matter where I was writing on Substack, I would be sure that my writing represented me accurately-grammatically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally. It’s not only worth the effort in Substack returns, it’s an attitude and approach that makes me feel good about myself, that makes me feel that I’m living true to myself.
Thanks for your thoughtful writing!
Thank you for your kind words and for sharing your experience! I completely agree that writing with authenticity not only enriches our relationships but also nurtures our own sense of fulfillment and integrity.
We create our habits and our habits create us. Great article Mo 🙏❤️
Yes, absolutely.
Love this! And I have used this very wisdom in many of my counseling sessions with clients. What I first heard was worded in a slightly different way.. The way we do anything is the way we do everything. I was just searching for who originally said it and I found Many mixed reports: Tom Waits, The Dalai Lama, Martha Beck,and there is even a book by this exact title by Susan Evan’s.. Yeee Gaads. In the end, it matters not who said it. It’s simply true.
I’ve offered this wisdom to clients as they are evaluating potential dates (look at a fella’s car before you get serious) jobs ( pay attention to the interviewer.. are they on time? (If this person is representing the company, look at how they are groomed) and pretty much anyone they interact with. Observe bank managers, car salesmen, investment firms etc.
this wonderful quote goes hand in hand with one by Maya Angelou
Maya Angelou - "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time."
Thanks again for sharing your insights! It’s always enriching to hear how these concepts resonate and are applied in different contexts.
We're actually highly consistent as human beings. People who say "this is not how he treats me" just don't know who they're dealing with, those who say "this is not who I am" are in denial.
How we do anything is how we do everything. It is exhausting to have to learn the "how" of doing something every time, so we learn it once then keep repeating it.
Those who disagree just don't like their current "how", and it bothers them to know this is actually how they do everything.
That's a fantastic point, Patrick! It highlights another layer to the "How we do anything is how we do everything" concept.