How We Do Anything Is How We Do Everything

Diary of a Wanderlusting Midlifer

“You can tell a man by his shoes,” Bernard told me thirty years ago.

He was from Manchester, England, and wanted to sell me spare parts for one of my company’s products. Since this didn’t represent a massive opportunity, I was impatient and somewhat dismissive.

He ignored my youthful impetuosity and continued politely.

He explained that a man who takes time to polish his shoes is worthy of doing business. A man who takes time to clean his shoes is not only professional but also practical, as he can take good care of the things he loves.

Meanwhile, one who wears scruffy shoes is disorganised and doesn’t take himself seriously. And if he doesn’t take himself seriously, why should anyone?

I smiled politely. I didn’t care much for his story, but we started a business relationship that lasted for a long while.

He was a man of his word—something uncommon nowadays.

A few months ago, I was reading about the legendary basketball coach John Wooden and came across his interview with Newsweek:

“I think it’s the little things that really count. The first thing I would show our players at our first meeting was how to take a little extra time putting on their shoes and socks properly,” he said.

He went on to describe that though putting on socks and shoes correctly and meticulously was a small act, it prevented many injuries on the hard basketball floor and taught players the discipline and power of doing things correctly, small or big.

A few weeks ago, I came across a quote:

“How we do anything is how we do everything.”

The quote is attributed to many, from T. Harv Eker to Zen Buddhism, but the true source needs to be verified.

That quote got me thinking. I recalled the wise Englishman from many years ago, the Wooden story, and the quote above.

I think it applies to every facet of our lives:

1) Relationships

How we treat a homeless person on the streets is probably how we treat other people in our lives, even if we camouflage our behaviour to fool ourselves. When we are dismissive of the homeless, then we are also dismissive of other people whom we feel we don’t need. But if we are compassionate toward them, chances are we are so with everyone.

2) Self-Talk

How we speak to ourselves is likely the same as how we project and judge others. When we are self-critical and only see our mistakes, doubts, and fears, we do the same with others. Conversely, when we wax poetic to ourselves, we are often full of self-love and thus can radiate good vibes to those around us.

3) Passion

When we are cynical in our outlook on life and disengaged in everything we do, we are unlikely to find passion in anything. But having a passion for someone or something can translate into a passion for all of life.

In my daily life, I’ve seen the “How we do anything is how we do everything” phenomenon at work.

As my passion for writing grew, I wanted to write good blog posts and books, but I also wanted everything I wrote to be professional and to the point. That included short emails to colleagues, postcards, and even my journal.

The quest for good writing has also affected how I talk to people. I want to mimic my writing style by being concise, clear, and potent when speaking.

As I’ve become more compassionate with myself, I’ve also become kinder to everyone around me. As I’ve found calm in situations I can’t control, such as traffic, travel, and other people’s behaviour, I’ve become relaxed in circumstances I can control, like my thoughts, feelings, and actions.

I now make it a point to keep repeating to myself:

“How I do anything is how I do everything.”

The repetition and recognition of this quote force me to reconcile my actions with my words.