Fall in Love in What You Do

Diary of a Wanderlusting Midlifer

“Fall in love with some activity, and do it! Nobody ever figures out what life is all about, and it doesn’t matter. Explore the world. Nearly everything is really interesting if you go into it deeply enough. Work as hard and as much as you want to on the things you like to do the best. Don’t think about what you want to be, but what you want to do.”— Richard Feynman, The Feynman Lectures on Physics)

Fall in Love with something that you want to do.

When I came across Feynman’s quote, I was immediately buoyed by it.

All my passions started with a cool interest in the activity I pursued, gradually growing into something larger. It was never love at the first time of doing it.

The activity grew into a true passion as I enjoyed it and was challenged to put in the hours. The Goldilocks principle supports my feelings. It refers to the idea that for something to be successful or optimal, it must strike a balance between two extremes: neither too much nor too little.

Let’s take my writing. On a whim, I started journaling, and when I did start blogging, it was average at best. But I loved expressing myself. I followed my heart and knew I wanted to go deep into the act of writing. I was fascinated by the mechanics, the different writing styles, and the dedication and solitude it required.

I then wrote diligently and consistently for many years, took many writing courses, and read many books as if my life depended on it. It took much toil to become good enough to enjoy my writing and feel good about sharing it while knowing that I still have a lot of room to grow. (Neither too much nor too little)

Let’s also look at my ‘Morning Practice.’

Following Annie Dillard’s wisdom, “How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives,” I spent a few years tinkering and establishing a set of non-negotiables that would start my day. (Rising early, Meditation, Reading, Journaling, Writing, and I’d finish with some kind of movement like running or gym work.)

I knew that when I observed them consistently, these practices filled me with contentment, magic, and a feeling of being enough. They were the culmination of all the work I’d done on myself—all the self-awareness and self-knowledge I gathered—in the past five years.

Following them was not easy. I struggled initially as it meant getting into action, changing my behaviours, and, ultimately, my outcomes. I enjoyed the morning solitude but found the meditation and writing tough.

However, over time, I found that when I got over the first few minutes, I’d get into ‘flow’ and knew that I was priming myself for what I would do for the rest of the day and the rest of my life—I was building small bridges that led to my soul.

Now, let’s take my latest obsession with Padel.

What is Padel?

Padel is a racket-based ball sport that could be described as a mixture of squash and tennis. It is played within an enclosed space like squash but shares many similarities with tennis—a net in the middle, where players must pass a ball over the net into an opponent's side by hitting it with their racket. However, in Padel, the walls/fences of the enclosed court are firmly part of the sport's gameplay.

Padel is addictive. It is commonly played by four people in a doubles game and is both physically and tactically demanding. It is also very much social in nature; four players are needed at all times. Suddenly, everyone is seen as a potential padel friend.

A year ago, I was looking to restart tennis after a twenty-five-year hiatus and rekindle the enjoyment of playing when growing up in England. However, out of the blue, a padel club opened up near my work.

I went through the same process as writing and creating my daily practice. After trying it once, I was smitten by it. Slowly, my interest in Padel became an obsession. Now, I play up to five times a week and have had to reduce the number of times I play to avoid injury.

Again, the same principles of falling in love with what you do were in play: interest leads to practice, which leads to improving your game, which leads to enjoying it more. However, you still remain not good enough to master it, which leaves room for progress. There is always the tension between enjoyment and challenge.

I loved Feyman’s quote because, in reaching Midlife Plus, I know I’ve wasted too much time analysing who I want to be. Instead, I want to lose myself in things I love to do because I feel that’s the straightest route to who I want to be.

In doing the things we love, we thus become who we must be.

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Practice Art

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