The Art of Being: Reflections on a Christmas Break With Family

Being Goals for 2025

Over the Christmas break, I found myself in London, surrounded by family. It was a rare gathering—my daughter flying in from New York, my son already in London, my sister, my brother and his family, and even my niece with her newborn.

I’d promised myself that despite my introverted nature and love of solitude, I would be the person everyone wanted to see: fun, engaging, and present. But as the days unfolded, the complete opposite happened. It was a familiar pattern, one that mirrored so many previous trips.

London was bustling, cold, and full of queues. The sheer size of our group made every outing an exercise in logistics, which chipped away at my patience. I became a version of myself I dislike—irritated, robotic, and eventually explosive.

All my mindfulness work seemed to crumble under these triggers. The breaking point came on one of the last days.

It was freezing, and I wanted to spend the whole day with my two kids. After wandering the streets, unable to find a restaurant, I grew agitated and, in my frustration, rudely treated my daughter. The very behaviours I had promised to avoid came rushing back.

In the days since, I’ve reflected deeply on why I fell victim to this cycle again and what it means for the year ahead. I realised that awareness is not enough. While I could see the triggers unfolding in real time, I lacked the tools to escape the spiral.

For 2025, I’ve decided to shift my focus from doing to being.

This isn’t about abandoning goals but prioritising who I want to become over what I want to achieve. It’s about cultivating presence, mindfulness, and authenticity—qualities often lost in the chase for accomplishments.

Cultivating Presence

Presence is more than just being physically there; it’s about genuinely inhabiting the moment. During the Christmas break, I noticed how quickly I became lost in my thoughts and frustrations, detached from the people and experiences around me.

Moving forward, I want to anchor myself in the present through mindfulness practices like meditation and small, intentional moments. A few deep breaths during tense situations, a brief pause to express gratitude, or even stepping outside for fresh air can gently remind me to stay grounded.

Lowering Expectations

Much of my stress during the trip stemmed from unspoken expectations—of myself, my family, and the environment. I wanted everything to go smoothly, to create picture-perfect memories.

But the reality of life is often far messier.

By setting fewer, more realistic priorities and embracing imperfection, I want to create space for joy and spontaneity. Instead of trying to attend every family outing, I can plan a few meaningful moments that allow for deeper connections.

Expressing My Needs

One of the most significant lessons from this experience is the importance of open communication. My tendency to suppress my feelings—to avoid conflict or seem selfish—only fuels resentment and guilt.

In the future, I want to practice articulating my needs with kindness and honesty. It’s okay to say, “I need a few hours alone to recharge,” or “I’m feeling overwhelmed and need some time to process.” These small acts of vulnerability can foster understanding and help me show up as my best self.

Transforming Old Patterns

The agitation I felt in London wasn’t just about the cold or the queues; it was a resurfacing of old patterns tied to my childhood. When I’m triggered, my body often goes into survival mode, reacting as it did when I was ten years old seeking help navigating a new environment.

Recognising this is the first step. The next is learning to soothe myself in those moments—through movement, breathwork, or even journaling—so I can respond rather than react.

Prioritising Depth Over Quantity

One of the greatest gifts I can give myself and others is my undivided attention. Instead of spreading myself thin across countless commitments, I want to focus on the relationships and activities that truly matter. Whether it’s a quiet conversation with my daughter, a walk with my son, or a shared meal with my sister, these moments of genuine connection are where fulfilment lies.

Redefining Fulfillment

Our culture glorifies busyness and achievement, often at the expense of presence and peace. But I’ve learned that lasting fulfilment comes not from checking off milestones but from aligning with my higher self.

It’s about celebrating simplicity—a warm cup of tea, a shared laugh, or a quiet moment of reflection—and finding joy in life’s small, peaceful moments.

Looking ahead, I’m committed to making 2025 a year of transformation. Not one measured by external achievements but by the depth of presence, connection, and peace I cultivate.

I want to be okay with not having all the answers, stepping back from the race and embracing life as a journey rather than a destination.

If I can do that, perhaps the next family gathering will feel less like a test and more like an opportunity to be my truest self—present, authentic, and aligned with the person I aspire to become.